You Never Know

A few weekends ago, we had an unexpectedly long but good time with some local friends we are getting to know. We met this family through our landlord only a month before we left to go to Thailand to have Emily, so this was only the third time we've spent time with them. I have to admit, even after a year and a half, the culture still catches us off guard at times. We were thinking with our American culture brains when David arranged what we thought would be a couple of hours for Caleb to play with their little boy at their house. But what we're learning is that when you get together with friends you're just getting to know in this culture, first of all, it is rarely just a couple of hours. The hosts are responsible to plan the event thoroughly and be completely in control of the flow of events and how long everything lasts. This is a way of treating the guests so that they can just relax, enjoy themselves, and not have to worry about anything. Secondly, rarely do they tell you ahead of time the details of the arrangements. When you go, you're just along for the ride and often have no idea what to expect! (This makes it really hard to plan well for caring for children...how much and what to take, etc.!) And thirdly, (we found out later when we talked to our tutor) many adults do not often arrange for their kids to play together and that be the primary purpose of the arrangement. Usually, the adults get together, and the kids entertain themselves while the adults spend time together. In fact, the word used when asking if you want to spend time together literally means "play". =)

Soooo, Dave arrived with Caleb at our friends' house, and rather than going inside, they told Dave they were going to take he and Caleb to a "fun place to play". Turns out, he ended up in the outskirts of the city at their mountain get-away home where they go to "play" on the weekends with their family, friends, and co-workers. So Dave called and let me know about the opportunity to spend time with our friends.

I must admit that when I got Dave’s phone call, it was one of those moments where I REALLY did NOT want to go. I was enjoying a peaceful afternoon with the girls, who were just waking up from naps) and was looking forward to a nice dinner and fun family night when David and Caleb returned (which I had thought would be around 5:30!). I wanted to stay home and continue on in my quiet comfort, my controlled, predictable, enjoyable environment—the EASY place. But over the last few years, and since we’ve been here especially, our lives have become a constant string of choices to go against our natural desires and preferences about what we want to do, and to keep choosing to walk into situations where we are not comfortable and not in control, for the sake of what matters most. So I talked with Him for a few minutes, asked for strength to live according to what is eternally valuable, and then got the girls ready, got in a cab, and rode up to the mountain home.

When I arrived, Caleb was taking turns riding the scooter around the courtyard with their little boy, and Dave was eating fruit and sunflower seeds outside with the men.

The kids enjoyed seeing the chickens and pet ducks on the hillside, and I had fun sharing Emily with the ladies inside while the helper prepared dinner.

After dinner was a relaxed time of the kids watching TV while the adults chatted and played cards. Susanna wasn't much interested in the TV, so she took a front row seat at the card table.

It was such a privelege to be included in their gathering of family and friends. I'm sure it's not always comfortable for them to have foreigners around. But by learning and adhering to their culture as much as possible, we are seeking to become more like they are so that the cultural barrier will be as little of a barrier to our friendship as possible.

Just like always, after a short time of being there, I was so glad I went, not because I was comfortable or having "fun" (my definition of fun is drastically different now than it used to be!), or because of anything obviously spectacular that happened, but because there's something so fulfilling about being right where you know you need to be. Sharing experiences with people, loving them, and being interested and involved in their lives is incredibly meaningful in the overall scheme of things, and we are learning just how "worth it" it is to sacrifice our desires for His.