Worth it

One thing that is so different here than in the States is that neighbors know and see each other on a very regular basis. Because the courtyards are the "backyards" of everyone who live in the complex, people often congregate there to enjoy fresh air or let children play. Honestly, I've had to adjust to this a bit. I grew up in the country with hardly another house in sight, so the outdoors have always been a sort of quiet sanctuary for me--a private place to retreat, to think, to be alone and feel free from the pressures of life. Not so here. We've learned that when we go out into our "yard" we can expect interaction with others.

Such was the case one evening last week. We were having a family picnic and enjoying the gorgeous spring weather when this lady joined us for a bit. She made fast friends with Susanna by offering her a piece of candy. Not long after, her daughter joined us, and we enjoyed sharing our food and what bits of information we could exchange with them.

I continue to be amazed at the level of courtesy, respect, warmth, and gracious hospitality that is such an integral part of the culture here. It's not enough just to have a nice conversation and then say "Well, see you around." Interaction is always accompanied by an invitation for further connection--usually an invitation to come over for tea. And they mean it. And sometimes they mean right now.

And so...after a while, the first lady who had joined us stood and asked me if I would accompany her to her home. I was surprised (though I shouldn't be by now) and delighted, and we walked back, arm in arm. On the way into her building, she pointed to some jasmine flowers on the trellis above the walkway and asked me to pick some (she wasn't tall enough to reach them!) and then she gave them to me. She then pointed to some others and I picked them and gave them to her. Then we went into her home, where she offered me something to drink. I declined, which is polite to do even if you would like something to drink! (Then they offer again a few minutes later and you decline again, and then they offer again a few minutes later, and then you can accept--unless of course you really don't want anything!). We chatted for a few minutes as best we could, while she washed a pair of pants by hand in a basin there on the living room floor. We talked about laundry and house helpers and visiting America and what my parents do for a living--I found out later that I told her my mother's work was "chopping" hair. HA! She smiled graciously but I'm sure she was laughing inside! Who knows what else I said!

Anyway, sitting there in her living room, I felt so awkward and so ignorant and so totally, completely devoid of anything to offer her. I have very little knowledge of what is culturally expected or how to relate. I have a very limited ability to communicate with her. Yet there I was nonetheless, a welcome guest in her home. And somehow I knew that in spite of all that, we were connecting, I was giving, she did understand and see my heart.

And so...As I let go of my expectations for finding space, retreat, and solace in the great outdoors, I am gaining relationships with precious people.

I am sure I will see my new friend again. Perhaps I will take her some more flowers. Perhaps I will bake her some cookies. But above all else, I will offer my love, my interest, my care--in spite of how uncomfortable and uncertain I may feel at times...because she is worth it.