Maybe

Time marches on, and I am six months along now! Everything has been going well since the morning sickness passed several weeks ago. I’m definitely showing now and making my “nesting” preparations for the coming little one.

Prenatal care continues to be an interesting cultural experience for us…interesting being the operative word here. With each checkup, we learn a little more about the differences between home and here—and usually in ways that are unexpected! Last Friday was one such experience. We’re the kind of people who love to find out if we’re having a boy or girl, and though we would be delighted to have either, we wanted to find out so we can enjoy the planning, etc. So we went to have an ultrasound to find out the exciting news. To give you an idea of our situation…

First of all, in the local hospitals, the husbands are not allowed in the room with the wives, the wives are not able to see the screen during the ultrasound, and it is illegal for the hospital to tell the parents the sex of the baby. Thankfully there is an international hospital in our city, so we were able to go there together, watch the baby on the sonogram, etc. Second, we’d already had a mid-pregnancy sonogram to try to find out a few weeks ago when my parents were here, but unfortunately the baby didn’t want to give us a look! So there we were last Friday, ready and eager to find out.

As we watched the screen in anticipation, we realized that the baby was in a great position to give us a view. So we waited patiently and enjoyed seeing our little one as the ultrasound technician checked all the different parts…except the one we wanted to see! After about ten minutes, I asked if she could tell the sex of the baby. She said okay and started looking, and then she said... drum-roll, please! … she said, “Maybe it’s a girl.”

Okay, so this was the moment we had all been waiting for, and she says maybe. So I waited as she looked a little more. Then she said, “Not too clear, but maybe it’s a girl” and then she moved on. "Maybe." That blasted little word! Did she really mean maybe? I’m thinking… Okay, if she’s not sure, she’s going to look until she is able to definitely tell, because I know it’s not the angle that’s the problem. But nope—that was it. That was all we got—“Maybe it’s a girl.” COME ON! Anybody could have told me that!

So as we left the hospital, we were feeling pretty frustrated. Was it a matter of competence, we were wondering, because we definitely had a clear view this time. Why did she say maybe? Surely she could tell if she was an experienced technician… But then we started remembering that when she said it, she nodded her head and had a smile on her face—her body language didn’t communicate uncertainty. And neither did her actions after that, as she moved on so quickly to other things. So maybe, we thought, just maybe her “maybe” didn’t mean maybe…

Sure enough, as we’ve talked to friends and locals here, we have learned that because of the restrictions placed on ultrasound techs, they always say maybe when talking with foreigners, even when they’re sure. What an unexpected but beneficial lesson in cross-cultural communication—another memorable reminder to look for the meaning behind the words!

So, as best we can tell, we’re having a girl. Maybe. ;)